it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
