just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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