You just made me feel so damn special
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
