At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
