at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
