that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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