It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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