I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize