And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
