Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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