There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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