And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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