Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
