did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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