i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
