LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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