this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
