I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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