..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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