she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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