Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
