Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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