We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
