I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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