Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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