man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
