apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
