I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize