PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
