If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize