arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
