When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
