Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
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just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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