is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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