Need sex. Gaining weight.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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