I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
