You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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