I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
