She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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