how can u be prego again
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize