I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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