Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
