New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
