I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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