I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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