did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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