Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
