Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
