you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
