I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
