I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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