I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
