and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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