So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
