If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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