Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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