Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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