worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
