You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
