My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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