sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
