i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize