From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
